To shit or not to shit, that is the question.
Whether tis nobler in bowels to suffer
The moans and gas of outrageous indigestion
Or to take toilet paper against a sea of diarrhea
And by shitting end them. To shit, to crap.
Pass gas, and by a crap to say we release
The stools and the thousand natural roughages
That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be flushed. To shit, to dump,
Perchance to run, aye, there’s the rub. For in
That bowl of crap what shit may come.
When we have wiped off this sticky mess
Must give us relief, there’s the respect
That makes diarrhea of so long a life.