“Carlos, Carlos, go lie down on that boulder over there, yes, on your stomach, head facing East.”
Yes, Master.
“What are you doing?”
I’m doing what you told me.
“Why are you doing that?”
Because you told me to.
“Carlos, Carlos, when will you ever learn?”
Silence…
“Well, go ahead then, do it.”
Am I doing something wrong?
“No, not at all, Carlos. You are doing nothing wrong.”
Am I not doing something I should be doing?
“No, No, Carlos, you are not doing something?”
I don’t understand. What is it?
“Nothing Carlos, it is nothing at all. Nothing at all.” Don is shaking his head.
Perplexed, Carlos climbs onto the rock and lays down. He lies on top of the boulder, arms spread around it, pointing east, just as Don Juan had said. He feels a warmth move through his body, a sensation of warmth coming from the boulder, warming his stomach, spreading through his body, warming him, filling him. Carlos surrenders himself to the boulder, to the sensation, to the warmth, to the feeling, becomes the feeling, becomes the boulder, becomes the warmth. Carlos loses himself in the sensation, to the sensation. Thoughts of the rock merge with the feeling of warmth. Thoughts of himself fade away. Thoughts of Don Juan fade from his mind, away from his consciousness, out of his awareness, into the past, into his memory, into forgetfulness, into the darkness, into the mystery.
Carlos awakens. He feels the heat of the sun on his neck. He looks up. He feels rested. He feels good. He climbs off the rock. He looks around. The desert is quiet, is peaceful, is beautiful and serene in its desolateness. He inhales. He smells it, tastes it. The air is fresh, it is clean, it is dry, it is clear. He scans as far as he can see. He can see forever. There is nothing but desert surrounding him, nothing but the desert and desert life stretching to the horizon. He feels good.
Suddenly it dawns on him. Where am I? Where is Don Juan? What is happening? What happened? He searches the immediate area.
He calls out. Don? Don? There is no sign of him.
What should I do? It is a test. Don Juan is testing him. It is a lesson. He looks for clues. He finds none. He is perplexed. What is the point? What am I supposed to do? What does he expect? A million thoughts cross his mind in a blur. Carlos sits down. Carlos stands up, kicks the sand. He is angry. He is angry at Don Juan for his stupid lessons. Damn Don and his crazy tricks. But Carlos is really angry with himself. Angry at himself for his stupidity, for being incompetent, for his denseness, for being dumb like the boulder, for not knowing what to do, for not being sure what to do. Carlos sits down. He feels stupid. He shakes his head. When will he ever learn? Will he ever learn? Will he ever know? Can he ever know? What is wrong with him? He becomes stupid. He is stupid. He is stupidity.
Then he feels sorry for himself. He’s sad, saying: it’s so sad. What can he do? Can’t he do anything right? He is a pitiful excuse for a man. He becomes pitiful. He is pitiful. He becomes pitifulness. He is pitifulness. He continues berating himself relentlessly. What’s the point? Why even bother? It is hopeless. He becomes hopeless He is hopeless. He becomes hopelessly hopeless. He is hopelessness. He can do nothing. He becomes nothing. He is nothing. He is nothing at all. He loses himself in the nothingness of his being, in being nothing. Nothing at all.

“Carlos, Carlos, what are you doing? Pay attention. Wake up.”
Carlos looks up. There is Don Juan. He feels drained. He feels tired. He says nothing. He knows Don Juan already knows the answer. Don Juan always knows. He can see right through me. I cannot hide from the Don. He shakes his head, tries to stand, sits down and looks at the ground.
“Carlos, have you been indulging again?”
Carlos looks up. He is annoyed.
Don Juan is laughing. “We are so alike, you and I. Just the same. I used to act just like you. The very same. Thinking one thing and being another. Being one thing and doing another. Indulging in myself, in my delusions, in my hopes and dreams, in my expectations and illusions, in my thinking. But knowing I was nothing, nothing at all, absolutely nothing.”
When will I see? Will I see? asked Carlos, shaking his head.
“Always indulging. Seeing is something out of your control. There is no way to tell when. And there is nothing you can do to ensure it. All you can do is prepare to see. To be ready to see. To break the mirror of self reflection, to quit indulging in yourself, to not be yourself. Then maybe, and only maybe can you see. It is not something that you do. It is something that happens to you.”
What happened on the rock? Carlos asked, thinking about being on the boulder. What did I feel?
“I don’t know. What did you feel?” Don smiled as he looked down on Carlos.
Warmth. I felt warmth. Coming into me. Into my stomach. Into my body. From the boulder. I don’t know what it was.
“You are not ready to know. What I would tell you would only confuse you. It would make no sense. Do not think about it, just remember it. Then forget about it. Do not make it important. It is not that important. There are better things to being doing than trying to explain. Know that you don’t know.”
Carlos and Don walked in silence. Don seemed to know where he was going.
“Don’t you want to know where we are going?”
Yes. But I assumed you knew what you had in mind.
“Why didn’t you ask?
I assumed you knew and you would tell me if you wanted to.
“Didn’t you want to know?”
Yes.
“Didn’t you think to ask?”
Yes
“Then why didn’t you ask?”
I don’t know. It just seemed like I shouldn’t, that it wouldn’t make any difference, you’d tell me when you felt like telling me, when you wanted me to know, so I didn’t ask. Carlos shrugged his shoulders.
“Did not asking bother you?”
Yes, I still wanted to know.
“Carlos. Why did you waste all that energy? All that thinking and doing nothing. Do your actions make sense?”
Carlos had to admit his thoughts seemed ludicrous in that light, a waste of time. He told the Don: It probably would have been best not to wonder at all. Just not worry about it.
“Why do you think that?”
It seems simpler.
“Does that mean it is sensible to you?”
Carlos didn’t understand.
Don continued. “Being simpler to you is being a simpleton. Best not to wonder, you think. Be sensible. Do something sensible not simpler. Be simply sensible. Don Juan stopped for effect and looked directly at Carlos. “Why not ask? Take responsibility and ask. You want to know. You are curious. Don’t demean yourself by denying that feeling. That feeling is what you are?”

They started down a path into a valley. It was a narrow path. Carlos couldn’t see where it went. Where are we going, Don? What is in the valley? What are we going to do?
“So many questions all at once. Once you have permission, you gush.” Don intoned. “That valley up ahead, the valley we are descending into, is called the Valley of the Inconceivable. And tonight is the Night of the Inconceivability. Tonight I will tell you a story, the story of the first time I encountered my mystery guide, my mystery master and maybe the mystery will guide you to your Master of the Mystery, one of the Masters of the Universe.”
They walked for hours. Exactly at sunset, they entered a clearing. Large stones were arranged in a strange circular pattern. At the far end was a small waterfall and a stream that flowed away. In the middle of the clearing was a pond. The sunset was perfectly reflected in the pristine surface.
“We do not have much time. We must get ready. Gather some branches for a fire. I will prepare for the ceremony.”
Carlos set down his pack and walked into the forest to pick up some branches. Don was intently walking around the clearing, he seemed to be looking for something. When he was done, he returned to small ceremonial area in the center of the clearing surrounded by four giant rocks. Don seemed to be asleep when Carlos returned holding a bunch of branches. He put them down and looked at Don. Don didn’t stir. Carlos went out for more. After the third bunch, Carlos was tired and figured that he had gathered enough wood for whatever might happen. He lay down to rest. Immediately Don Juan woke up.
“No time for that. We must begin before it is too late. If it is too late we will die. We cannot take any chances. We might die. And our efforts would be for nothing.”
Do you want me to make a fire? Carlos asked.
“No, not yet. We do not need a fire. Later we will need a fire. Now you need to listen. The darkness will help you listen, the darkness will guide you. You need the darkness. Relax. I am going to tell you of my first encounter, my first meeting with a Master of the Mystery, a Master of the Universe, the Master of the Mystery chose to guide me, the master I asked to guide me in mastering my mastery and to share the mystery of being. Then we will see, we will see what happens. We will see what the mystery brings you. If we are not too late. We will know if we do not die.”
Then Don was silent. Carlos listened to the wind, to the leaves in the wind, to the stream, to the flowing water and the waterfall. He heard the sound of the valley, to the sound only valley’s have, the bottled sound of a valley. Then a howl pierced the air. Carlos thought it was a wolf or a coyote. He shivered.
Don spoke, the words coming softly and distinctly in the darkness: “That is the signal. From my master, through the mystery. The howl. The howl of the jackal. The howl in the night. My master’s indication to you that he is here for both of us. He will guide you as I tell you my story. He has answered my request. He has respect for my intent. The mystery leaves no doubt. The jackal has spoken, my master comes.”
Carlos could see nothing. Not even Don. Only his voice gave him any reassurance, when he was silent, the darkness became intense, his hearing responding to every sound that pierced the silence no matter how minute. When there was nothing to hear the silence swelled up inside him. Don said nothing. Carlos had no idea how long Don paused. It seemed interminable. Carlos was so overwhelmed by the rising silence, he didn’t hear the second howl of the jackal. But Don did.
“The master is here. The story begins right here. My master brought me here, just as I have brought you. And I was here, just as you are here, with my thoughts, with my uncertainties, with my fears and my confusion, with myself and only the words of my nagual floating through the darkness of the night, from the emptiness of the mystery, then through the denseness of my mind.”
And the nagual told me his story and when he finished he told me to take off my clothes and then go immerse myself in the pond. He said that the mystery would reveal itself through the Masters of the Universe along the way. That the masters might be anywhere and that the mystery might take me all over the place before going to the pond or that I might go directly. But I must go. I must trust the mystery.
“Go where you must, stop when you must, feel the mystery. You have heard my story. Use what I have told you in order to act, to be your action, to feel the mystery, to know the inconceivable, to sense the significance, to guide you, to delight you, to share a moment being with you, to advise you, for you to realize. And you, Carlos, must go when I am done. I cannot help you. The mystery will guide you if you let it, and it is up to you to let it. But it is all up to you, and you alone. You are responsible, there is no other choice. And we will see what you will see. We will see what happens. You will experience the inconceivable. There is no doubt. It is unavoidable. The mystery has seen to that. Just as it did for me.” Then he was silent.
I don’t even know if he was there or where he was. After several minutes, I took off my clothes. It was pitch black. While the stars were clearly visible, the valley was pitch black. I started to walk in the direction of the pond and ran directly into one of the boulders. I felt the boulder, walked around it, touching it. I was being attentive, trying to apply the nagual’s advice to guide my actions, to be aware, to let the mystery guide me, to act with heart, to trust the mystery, with controlled folly, to enjoy the moment, to forget myself. But as I was attentively, intently feeling that rock, looking for something, I didn’t know what, I became so absorbed in my task, I lost myself, and I forgot what I was doing. Then I became aware that now I was totally lost, I didn’t have any idea of where I was, whether I was inside the circle or outside, where the pond was, where the stream was, where I was, where I had been. And the more I thought about it, the more I became aware of how uncertain I was about everything. I wasn’t even certain I was still in the valley. I felt the rock. But the rock and I could be anywhere. I didn’t want to leave the rock. It was my reality. I could feel it. It was real. What to do? The rock gave me confidence. I let go. In terror I grabbed out for the rock. I crashed against the rock. I bounced off and landed on my back. I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of my actions. I felt the ground. I felt my ridiculousness. I stood up and brushed the dirt off me. I looked around. The stars were somehow brighter, I could see faint outlines around me in the clearings. I wasn’t sure what they were, if they were reflections off the water in the pond, the stream, the waterfall or what they were. I wasn’t in a hurry any more. I wanted to make the most of the opportunity I was facing. I was actually enjoying the mystery of it all, the absurdity of it all, the wonder of it all, the excitement, the unpredictability of what lay ahead, the unpredictability surrounding me. I could die. I could actually die. The idea seemed delicious to me. That death might strike out at me from anywhere, at any time. Might strike me down, might surprise me, might catch me unexpectedly, might challenge me to a contest, a life and death contest. Then I heard the voice of death speak. “I am a Master of the Universe, I am The Master of the Living, I am a Master from the Mystery. You have felt me. You have seen my shadow. My shadow is death to you. You know my intent.
If you desire I will be your master. If you ask.”
I looked around. I felt the master’s presence everywhere, in everything, making life vital, making life precious, moving in mysterious ways that I could learn from the master. I saw his unpredictability had a mysterious purpose that even transcended the master’s understanding and that even the master was still growing, constantly surprised in the movements of his shadow, death. That the master was the maker of the challenge but that he was also challenged by changes more irrevocable than death, more final, more certainly uncertain, more unknowingly sure, a challenge of complete unpredictability or total uncertainty of the result, only the knowledge that it involved the risk of the masters very being, of his eternity, of his essence. And that there were Masters of Masters. I acknowledged death and moved on. A glitter caught my attention. I moved towards it. I walked with unknowing confidence and met no mishaps. It was a glitter cloud. I entered it.
With my mind, I spoke: ‘Let us share this moment of being.’ I became silent. There was no hurry. I looked around waiting.
She spoke. I smiled. I hadn’t expected a female. “I have been waiting for you to come.” I waited for her to continue.” I am the Master of the Abstract.”
In my mind I saw her move. I saw her flow. I saw her change. There was nothing she could not be. The changes were completely spontaneous. I saw that her shadow, the shadow she cast was freedom, complete freedom. And I felt how I desired her. How I wanted to possess her, to reach her. She told me that now that I felt her, that if I desired she would be my master. If I ask.
I saw much more. I gained a better understanding of freedom’s possibilities and freedom’s limitations. And I saw that she too had a Master. And I saw that she was being constantly challenged in new ways and that she constantly faced awareness of complete lack of freedom. That she was always aware she risked her very being constantly being free, that in a way she was a slave to freedom. I was incredibly drawn to her. I talked with her for a long time and she showed me her infinite ways.
In the Valley of the Inconceivable on the Night of Inconceivability time works differently, time is not continuous and regular, it moves mysteriously. It moves at different rates at the same time. One moment for you could be one year for me. I needed more time and the mystery provided it. It took seven years for me to complete my journey to the pool. I spent seven years in that clearing talking to the various Masters of the Universe that the mystery had brought before me before I would make my decision. Seven years to walk 100 yards. It may seem inconceivable but I aged seven years while only one night passed in that clearing.
I am not going describe everything that happened. It would take seven years. I will only talk of what you need to hear, what you need to know for your journey, however long it takes for you. Know that you will complete your journey, you will step into that water and you will be done. I learned that from another Master of the Universe, the Master of Meaning, the master whose shadow was intent to me. And I felt his intent. And I felt the meaning of intent, the meaning of meaning. And we talked for a long, long time during those seven years. He showed me that intent was in everything, not on the surface but inside of and in between things. Intent was not like death or freedom but more mysterious. That intent was in and in between being and becoming. I felt I needed to know more about intent before I could decide if intent should be my Master. It took me over 3 years to be able to feel intent, to get an inkling of the power of intent, of the movement of intent, of the mystery of intent. I strove and the master of meaning guided me to a sense of intent, to the meaning of intent. The first journey to awareness of intent is the longest, that in order to feel intent for the first time, to be aware of intent, I had to intend to be aware by performing an action deliberately, aware of what was happening and just doing it with inner silence, without having expectations or thinking about myself. That increasing awareness of intent increased the effectiveness of the realization of my intent in the performance of my action. It was through intent that I was guided by the mystery and that increasing awareness of intent results in more complete awareness of the mysterious movements in the universe. The way to feel intent is through the practice of intent. Awareness of intent only comes by performing actions deliberately in both thought and realization. That intent begins with a single action, repeated deliberately and precisely and sustained. By repeating it enough times I would get a sense of unbending intent, which I could apply to anything. Once I had a sense of intent, my inner silence would allow me to establish a link with the mystery for guidance.
Finally I got tired and felt I needed a change. Clearly intent and the Master of Meaning provided the greatest challenge and the most meaningful insight into the mystery. I left with the intent to return and finish our discussion. The pool was near so I walked over next to it, not to get in, because I didn’t feel ready, I wasn’t done, I knew that. I sat down just to rest and reflect and try to take it all in. I felt that night had lasted years. I had no idea of what time it was, how long the night was, how long it would be until the dawn or where Don Juan was. He had disappeared completely.
I took a deep breath and exhaled completely and without thinking, I bent down to scoop out some water for a drink. When I bent over, I found myself looking at myself in the water, reflected in the surface. I paused before disturbing the surface and looked at myself. I looked at what I looked like, I looked at how I looked, I looked at what I was looking at and what was looking up at me, and I looked at my face, my eyes, my hair, my look. And when I looked I thought to myself, I looked perplexed like I was puzzled by what I was looking at. I was looking at myself and I looked baffled. I looked baffled to myself. And I realized I was baffled. I hadn’t the foggiest idea of what I was looking at. And I thought to myself I haven’t the foggiest idea of what anything is, I’m looking at myself and for all my effort, for all my soul searching, my struggle to understand, my desperate desire to know something, to know something for sure, for a place to stand, for some solid ground to stand on, somewhere anywhere in the universe, I looked at myself and I knew for sure that I didn’t have a clue. I was clueless. I was without a clue. Not even one.
And I looked down at my reflection and I laughed at myself and I laughed and shook my head in disbelief and I was filled with amazement. And I paused in wonder and gazed at my reflection, then through my reflection into the water and I lost myself in wonder. I have no idea what really happened I only have a sense of experiencing something ineffable, elusive, yet sure. All I can say is I felt something and I have no way to adequately describe it. And I knew. I knew. I knew what I needed to know. I knew what I didn’t know. What I would never know, could never know, didn’t want to know, what didn’t matter. That there was no why, only why not. That there was nothing to do, that nothing had to be done, that nothing needed to be done by me or anyone. And I wondered about it all. I wondered about what was happening, what to do and suddenly I knew that something was responding to my wondering. And I realized I was in a World of Wonder, that this is the way the Master of Wonder might inform a potential disciple. Things changed and I realized this is a universe of information, made of bits of information. And the Master gave me an incredible view of the universe of possibilities, the blending of the inconceivable with simplicity. And I saw how it made sense in an infinite number of ways in the infinite and eternal. And I sensed the inconceivable possibilities that would not be, but may be. How it could be different and still make sense. How I made sense, how little sense I made. I absorbed the information with the sense of wonder that the Master of Wonder had enhanced for me. Information with elucidation. I was in awe.
And as I wandered in wonder this Master of Masters appeared out of nowhere. Mesmerized, I stared, the Master of Wonder was a woman.
She spoke directly into my mind: “I am the Master of Wonder. Call me Wonderful. This is an important point in your existence. I have informed you of what you need to know. We need you. That is why you are here, now.”
We, who is we? I asked.
“We are Mysterio… and me.”
Mysterio?
“The Master of Mystery”
Why?
“You already know why. You absorbed it while wondering.” She pointed to a place in my mind.
I looked. Hmm…Yes, you’re right. Get Mysterio.
“You get him. You might as well practice your powers.” She ordered.
Yes Master I can do that.
That’s when I realized she was my new Master replacing Don Juan. And I didn’t even have to ask.
“Quite right, Carlos. Do it and welcome to Wonderland.”
And seven years of memories flooded through my mind. Starting with Don Juan. Laying on the boulder. Walking. Into the Valley of the Inconceivable on the Night of Inconceivability. Meeting the three Masters: of the Living, the Abyss, of Meaning. Years spent learning about death, freedom and intent. Then I was about to choose my new Master. I took a break. Thirsty. The reflecting pool. Lost in wonder. Wandering in a universe of information. Absorbing vast information. Becoming informed. Being informed. Suddenly seeing this is not a dream. Realizing this must be the work of the Master of Wonder. A Master of Masters. She manifests. Wonder Woman. She explains. We need help. Who is we? I have two Masters. I mentally signal for the Master Of Mystery. He comes: Call me Mysterio.
The flood of memories stops as my attention returns to the present. I take a deep breath to clear my thoughts.
I inform the two Masters before me: I have something I must do before we continue.
“Go ahead. Yes go ahead. We understand.” they echoed.
I shifted focus. In my mind I called out a mentage (a mental message): To the three Masters (Living death, Abyss freedom, Me in Meaning intent), it’s Carlos. They respond. “Carlos, Carlos, Carlos” A Carlos from each Master.
I continue: I want to thank each of for your love, for your time, for sharing yourself with me for the last however many years. I am honored. As you know by now I have found my new Master, or my Master has found me. In fact I may have two Masters. It is a mystery to me so far. I want you to know how special you are. And someday we’ll meet again, I don’t know when, I don’t know how, so until then take care till we meet again.
My attention returns to the two Masters. I nod first to him then to her: Well, Mysterio and you Wonderful, though I prefer to call you Wonder Woman. It’s been a long night. And I’m tired. I’m in need of rest. So then we can continue tomorrow and you can fill in some of the gaps in my mind. I pause for effect, then continue with more intensity: And you can tell me where the hell Don Juan is and why he doesn’t responds to my mentages. Is this some kind of trick?
The two Masters ignored my questions and responded in synch: “Mentage us when you want to get together and we’ll be there.” They responded like two overlapping echoes. It was eerie.

Next installment-
Masters of the Universe II
The TrickMaster